沒有人承諾在神手中全是美好的

我永遠都不知道原來平時隱藏的問題﹐拿出來討論時是那樣的殘忍。。。

我不想發脾氣﹐ 也不想令你不開心。 不過﹐我不想LAST MINUTE。

我想和你總是給人感覺好開心好SWEET﹐但是﹐要在神的恩手中一齊行不是只有甜無苦。這樣我們便更加懂得怎去愛對方。

我依然很難過﹐依然很迷茫。。。

但我依然很愛你。。。

CONFLICT

We have our meeting, our marriage counselling meeting.... .... Getting more and more homework. Kenneth didn't want to waste the money....
but ... end up ... we had a very big disagreement.

When I wanted to work on the questions, he was busy with something else, putting other things on top of them.
When I didn't prepare the questions, all of a sudden, he wanted to finish all the questions the night before the meeting.

Maybe it was my problem. I am not agreed with this, so end up I gave up NOT doing the questions, but delay the meeting (Of coz, I don't want to let Rev Luong get mad. I told him that I had RASHES, which is TRUE, those rashes are so itchy and made me so uncomfortable.)

Maybe it is my problem... I shouldn't just STOP the discussion. I could tell he was not happy. But I really didn't want to rush to complete it.

It is very hard.... after all, it is my fault again..... I suck! stupid me....

PRE-WEDDING pictures.... On OCT 6 2010

Oct 6 2010 will be the first day I will do really serious stuffs for my wedding.

I am going to take pre-wedding pictures...
Don't know where to do...
But ... I really hate myself...
I look at the MIRROR....

I see the fat...
I don't like myself... why I have so much stuffs on my body that i don't want it.....??? How can I take the good pictures with Kenneth?

Kenneth is handsome, good looking... I don't want to make him look bad on the picture.... but my FAT....

How... ot cover up??? I can't ... especially on my gown....
the shoulders part.... DAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't like myself.... I really don't like to let other people tease Kenneth bcoz of my FAT...

Fat makes me look ugly...

I am sorry, Kenneth. I am still trying... I am doing my best... but still NOT good enough....

Gown trying last weekend

(Note: this is not me. She is skinnier and shorter than me a bit....)

There are going to be more and more weddings need to attend. The more I attend, the more fruststrated I am.

I never think of myself dressing up as a bride. I never thought I would be able to wear the gown. It is only for skinny people. At least NOT look so fat people wear that. By looking at the picture, I know why we need LONG dress for the church. It does look pretty.

I went to try on the gown last weekend. I was surprised that I can actually fit into the Gown, and I did had the choice to pick. (now I know they have different sizes.... dumb!) I was a bit upset as my SHOULDERS BIGBIG BIG... BIG ENOUGH like a wall... what the hell.....

I can't be the most prettiest bride, but at least I hope I won't be the ugliest bride. I really don't know how to lose weight.... I joined the clinic, went for medication, got accupunturist to help, etc etc... I tried to avoid all the temptations I have. seriously... There are so many temptations to me... daily... I already tried to avoid them as much as possible.

The time gets closer, the fear gets greater. Even I can't be the good looking bride, I hope I won't lose Kenneth's face...

I quitted my job as my health condition. When people admire me that I have holidays now. Yeah, I am blessed by God doing that... to me greatly, but I am not relaxing. Not bcoz of my wedding.. the wedding is not difficult at all, but my health condition. I want to have it recover ASAP....

Oh.... Ohhh.... ohhhhh... Percy Chan... Percy Chan... what are you planning to do... What are you planning to do....????

Process is FUN and happy!!!

Everytime when i come up here. I just have so many things want to say.

Times fly .... really really FAST! It is September 2010.... Our Wedding date is May 7 2011!!! less than 8 months.

The process of doing wedding is so easy. Once Mr. Man provide me a budget, and I am just working around it. Everything just so easy.

Based on the process. I realized that I actually have the ability to plan. May not perfect in some people's eyes. I know I am good with that.

When people struggle about the wedding planning. I am very happy with it. I don't know why people struggle...?

Give you a little Tip. There are so many choices. Don't pick ALL THE CHOICES. Once you picked something, don't look at the similar thing anymore (Thank you Kev gor gor for reminding that)

Now,
Banquet is confirmed
Church is confirmed
Budget is confirmed
Bombonniers are confirmed
Helpers are confirmed
Ideas are planned... wowooowowo!!! yeah....
DJ is confimred
Photographer is confirmed

I think we are good to go...

I would like to thank you my sponsors. I don't want to own you all too much "YAN CHING", Kenneth and I decide go for regular. I will remember your offers. Very Very appreciated!
You all just like giving us a cup of warm applecider when we really need it. We should be ok.
Thank you very much.



I love this picture very much... I felt the warm even I just look at the picture. Thank you all for making my dream come true.